They are all fools
by Magdelope
Summary: Knight-commander Meredith thinks back on the last year during the final fight with Hawke. Femslash Meredith/OC.


"Look at all this," Meredith said to Hawke when the mage arrived, "magic is a cancer in the heart of our land, just as it was in the time of Andraste and like her we are left with no choice but to purify it with fire and blood."

"Strange way to treat a sickness," Hawke answered. Her smile made Meredith almost laugh; they were all fools. Every single one of them. Everyone, except Meredith.

_Ivy had been flirting with her for weeks. She was one of the mages whose task was to prepare food for the templars in the Gallows and Templar Hall. Meredith hated the fact that their food was prepared by them, she despised their very presence but also realised that it was good for them to keep busy. To keep them out of trouble._

_Ivy was a young mage, seemingly well-behaved and very skilled in the kitchen. She was also sweet. And pretty. But that was really besides the point. At first Meredith just ignored the mage's smiles and kind manners, then she shook it off as Ivy just wanting to ingratiate and then she settled in the pleasant knowledge that there perhaps was a young mage that looked up to her. _

_Meredith tried to ignore it, she tried to cling to the icy shell she carried inside. But little by little it was stripped away. It didn't take long until she started noticing Ivy's warm emerald eyes, her beautiful scarlet hair and inviting full lips. And Ivy was so smiling, so inviting; she made Meredith believe. The mage made the knight-commander believe that she wanted her. But it was all a lie._

_Meredith eventually crackled, gave in and leaned in to kiss her. That was when Ivy leaned back, put a finger on top of Meredith's lips and whispered._

"_You really think I would kiss you. You cold bitch. I would rather be dead." Then the mage had laughed, content in knowing that she had made Meredith want her, and then rejected her. She could go back to her friends at the circle that night and tell her what a fool she had made of the big, powerful and scary knight-commander Meredith. _

"Sometimes a limb must be amputated to save a life," Meredith said to Hawke, "unpleasant, but necessary. And my surgery here is not yet done. I'm beginning to wonder just how large your part in all this actually is. "

"Meredith..." Hawke tried, "you're not thinking clearly." But the knight-commander was too far gone.

_Meredith wanted to have her revenge; every bone in her body wanted to tell her guards to put the insolent mage in shackles. Throw her behind bars. Make her regret the day she had decided to make a fool of Meredith. But the knight-commander had decided on a different approach. She didn't even fire the girl from her position. Instead she met the mage's happy smirk with her cold calm gaze. Ate her meal and then thanked the mage for it. _

"How can I trust that the mighty champion of Kirkwall is not a worse threat to this city than the Circle?" At this point it didn't matter what Hawke answered, Meredith was not listening.

"_Sweet little mage," Meredith froze when she heard one of her templar's voices. She walked with silent steps towards the sound. Around the corner she saw the templar standing over Ivy; her eyes big and scared._

"_Please," she said, "please let me go. I won't tell."_

_The templar chuckled cruelly._

"_Of course you won't tell," he said, "you wouldn't want to become tranquil, would you? Just do exactly what I tell you and nobody will get hurt."_

_Meredith walked into his vision with heavy steps._

"_I'm not sure that nobody will get hurt," she said, her eyes somehow cold and burning in the same time._

"_Knight-commander," he said and quickly let go of his hold of Ivy, who fell down to her knees on the floor. She was clutching her midsection and shaking as if she was crying; her red hair falling in front of her face like a curtain. Something about seeing the usual proud and happy girl so defeated caused something to ache in Meredith's chest._

"_Templar Riccurd," Meredith said, satisfied that her voice was completely cold, "you are relieved from your service. You can leave right now."_

_When the young man tried to argue, Meredith pulled at her sword. Her unsaid threat worked and templar Riccurd moved past Meredith and left without so much as a final look on Ivy._

_The knight-commander looked at the mage on the floor with contempt in her eyes. _

"_Get up," she said. Ivy twitched a little at the sound of her icy voice. She tried to stand up but she was trembling so bad it was difficult._

_She heard Meredith sigh and the knight-commander grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet._

"_Troublesome girl," Meredith snapped as she pushed the girl away from her, "what are you even doing here? You should be back at the circle by now."_

_Ivy looked down, stroking her arm where Meredith had held her;she would probably get bruises there._

"_I wanted to apologize," Ivy said when she finally found her voice._

"Proof of what?" Meredith almost yelled at Hawke. The stupid mage hadn't proven anything to her, it didn't matter that the champion had helped her take out all the mages, "your lies only prove that you are more clever than Orsino. The people of Kirkwall will mourn your loss but I will tell them that you died when battling mages." That's when Cullen betrayed her.

_Months went by. Ivy kept serving her food, Meredith kept eating it. They kept it civil, Ivy no longer flirted shamelessly and Meredith tried to pretend that the sight of Ivy didn't made her thaw inside. Ivy found herself thawing too, warming up to the cruel and cold knight-commander. The mage learned that Meredith wasn't just cruel and calculating, she tried to be fair; she didn't hate the mages but wanted to save them from themselves. Occasionally Ivy would glimpse the real Meredith; a tired, beaten woman with the world on her shoulders. _

"_They call me a tyrant," Meredith said to her once when Ivy brought her breakfast. As Ivy was putting down the tray of food, Meredith grabbed her wrist, "am I a tyrant, Ivy?"_

_Ivy pulled her arm back, Meredith letting it go without any resistance. The mage looked down for a moment, straightened her skirt while thinking._

"_My name isn't Ivy," Ivy said, "my name is Sunniva. But no, I don't think you are a tyrant."_

"You will do as I command, Cullen," Meredith said. She couldn't believe that he was actually going against her, now, after all she had been through. How dare he! She would make him see. She would make them all see. She alone had the Maker on her side.

"_What changed?" Meredith whispered in Ivy's ear as the mage leaned in and laid a trail of kisses on her neck. The girl had her pinned against the wall, not a position that Meredith was used to. She tried to remember who she was, who Ivy was, but couldn't make herself push the girl off. Ivy didn't answer, instead she captured Meredith's lips, kissing, licking and biting. Then the mage pulled back and looked into Meredith's frozen gaze._

"_You are so beautiful," the mage said softly, "isn't that enough?" She leaned in again, kissing her and opening her mouth giving access to Meredith's tongue. Meredith herself had gone from thawing to being completely consumed by flames and every thought of duty had gone out of the window. She just wanted more of Ivy. _

_The mage let a yelp of surpise leave her when Meredith suddenly pushed forward until Ivy's back hit the desk. Ivy couldn't help but smile when she jumped up to sit on the desk and then finally wrapped her legs around Meredith's waist._

"_What are you thinking?" Meredith asked when she saw the expression on the mage's face._

"_I'm... thinking... that..." Ivy panted between planting kisses all over Meredith's face, "how... uncomfortable... this... would...be...if... sigh... you'd... be... wearing your... armor."_

_Meredith stopped for a moment and pulled back._

"_Are you making fun of me?" She asked suspiciously but her frown was smoothed when Ivy gave her a smile containing so much warmth and desire that the last ice melted from Meredith's heart._

"_Never," Ivy said and pulled Meredith in for another kiss._

_Suddenly they were in a hurry. Meredith reached down and pulled Ivy's dress over her head, leaving her in only her small clothes. The mage didn't even try to shield herself; she wanted Meredith to see her._

"_I want to kiss you everywhere," Meredith breathed._

"_You can." She tried. _

"I will not allow insubordination. We must stay true to our path. All of you; I want her dead!" But to Meredith's horror nobody lifted a finger to help her, they just stood there, looking at her as if she was an idiot. Cullen even has the audacity to order _her, _knight-commander Meredith, to step down.

_One day, close to the end, Meredith and Ivy were lying down on Meredith's bed. Tired, and lazy but too happy to put their clothes back on. They just wanted a few more minutes of skin pressed against skin, a few more minutes of just them. Of being Meredith and Ivy, rather than knight-commander and mage. _

"_Why did you say your name isn't Ivy?" Meredith asked as she followed the sensual curve of Ivy's back. Ivy grabbed her hand and placed it where she wanted it; she didn't want to talk._

"My own knight-captain falls prey to the influence of blood-magic. You all have! You're all weak! Allowing the mages to throw your minds, to turn you against me! But _I_ don't need any of you, I will protect this city myself!"

"_Merry," Ivy tried, "please, you are not thinking clearly! It's like you see malificarum everywhere!"_

"_And aren't day?" Meredith snapped back at her, "what would you have me do? This has been going on too long. All mages are dangerous, and they deserve death, it is only mercy. I have to protect this city from people like them." _

"_People like me!" Ivy cried, "people like me! Do I deserve death too?"_

_Meredith looked confused for a few minutes. Ivy was different, wasn't she?. Meredith had never seen the girl use her magic, not even under threat. Surely she wasn't dangerous? _

Meredith wielded her sword and stuck it in the ground in front of her, calling on the power of the Maker.

"Blessed are those who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter."

_Meredith had gotten the report on suspected blood mages and felt her heart once more freezing when she saw Ivy's name on the list. Sunniva Greton it said, and that was Ivy's name, wasn't it? Hearing Ivy's pleas, claiming that she was innocent didn't change Meredith's mind. Her friend was surely guilty, just like the rest of them. She wouldn't have anyone else do it though, no, she executed the suspect herself. Beheading it was. She looked into Ivy's green eyes and let her sword fall over the tender neck that she had spent so many nights kissing._

"_Merry," Ivy's last words had been, "what is wrong with you?"_

Her adversaries weren't dying. It didn't matter that Meredith threw everything she had at them. Why wasn't the Maker helping her? She had thawed once more completely, becoming a fiery monster.

"Why is this taking so long?" She yelled towards the sky, "Can ones so evil truly be so powerful? Maker, guide your servant. Please, tell me what I must do? What if... I'm not doing the right thing? What if this is all madness? No! I must remain vigilant!"

_Meredith let herself break down when she was back in her study. She yelled and cried, broke her desk in two, wanted to rip out her hair from the roots._

"_Why Maker?" She cried at no one, "why must you test me so? Why her? Maker, guide your servant!"_

_She was on her knees, begging to an unseen guide to help her. To show her that she had made the right choice. That Ivy had deserved death. Maybe it had been blood-magic all along, that was probably why Meredith had fallen in bed with her in the first place. Mages were dangerous, Meredith knew that, she would have never fallen in love with one if she had been of sound mind. If she had fallen in love, that is - of course not, the thought was ridiculous. Meredith had never felt anything for the mage, it had all been Ivy's dangerous magical influence. _

Nothing was happening. They weren't dying. Meredith needed more power to defeat them. She could feel herself falling and with the last strenght she had she lifted her sword one last time.

"I will not be defeated," she gasped, "Maker, aid your humble servant!" But instead of more power to aid her, the burning force that came from above split her lyrium sword in a thousand pieces. Meredith didn't have a chance to react before the power now filled her, burnt her, consumed her and she felt like she would spilt into thousands of pieces too. She screamed and fell to her knees. Before the power petrified her completely, Meredith realised something very important.

She had been wrong.


End file.
